April 8, 2008

Cold Feet

Posted in Uncategorized at 6:19 pm by Jess

I had no idea “Cold Feet” would be so serious.

My wedding is two and a half months away. Meanwhile, my best friend is getting divorced. As one would expect, she is visiting bars and theraputically indulging in the local eye candy. She recently called me to say that not only had she enjoyed the view, but she had hit it off with someone and she was getting ready to go on her first date – that went along with the obligatory “Is it a date, I’m not sure it’s a date, he didn’t say…” business – in a very long time.

My gut reaction to this was of course, jealousy. I wanted to be going out, getting dolled up. It made it worse that she and I used to do this together, both single, both in shape, both fresh from college. I went to bed that night dreaming about old boyfriends, missed opportunities and more.

So it was official, I have cold feet. The first time this kind of feeling happened wasn’t so bad. The jealousy wasn’t actually jealousy, turns out, just a sheer curiosity of “What if.” Or rather, “Who else.” Unfortunately, this second feeling was worse, more intense and more disturbing.

The second wave of cold feet was panic. It happened as I lay down to go to sleep, about two weeks after my bout with jealousy. I closed my eyes and began to mentally assess the decision of marriage. I have done this before with Jonathan, with friends, even with a Pastor, but this was the first time that my lone brain and conscience dove deep into the heart of the matter, without anyone else’s words to distract me. And my brain said, “How can you be making a decision that will affect the next 75 years of your life?!” “How can you be making a decision after 1/4 of your life that will affect 3/4 of your life?!” and on and on. (Oh yes, I plan to live until I am 100.) Now I say this with the honesty of someone who has had real panic attacks and is frightened of ever having one again: I would not joke, I had a small panic attack. Actually, I visualized the morning after my wedding, waking up and seeing Jonathan and the thought that ran across my brain was, “I have now made the decision and if it is the wrong one I will have to live with it for the rest of my life.” In my visualization of this I began to have a panic attack at the thought that the decision was behind me, and then in real life, in my bed, I began to have a small panic attack.

Perhaps you know what I am talking about. Jon is fully aware of all this but seems to be much less affected, so actually, perhaps your husbands-to-be know what I am talking about.

The next morning I met a friend for coffee to discuss this “episode.” We had a long and important talk. I was nervous to tell her my real opinion, and elated to hear that she was of the same opinion as me: People aren’t meant to be monogamous.

I know this might shock many people. I am not saying that they shouldn’t be, or that they cannot be. I think the opposite on both counts, in most cases. However, from the evolutionary perspective to just plain old daydreams of the average adult, I don’t think manogaminity is 100% natural. (Yes, I said manogaminity, because that is the word that she and I coined after racking our brains to no avail for the real word.  I like this one better, and I am keeping it.) The decision of marriage then, to me,  is a promise to be manogamous, and a decision to honor that promise knowing full well that I may be tempted, I may someday be really tempted for reasons that seem absolutely cruel, and that I will also be tested. And I expect the same from him.

I am still wallowing in the cold feet a tad bit. This sort of decision in modern day, when we aren’t marrying to bring two villages together, or to have kids to work on the farm, or to give motivation during war time, when we are marrying for this pretty modern reason of reciprocal love, is extremely intense. However, the excitement of knowing that this person I love will be bound to me, and me to him for such a long time starts to feel very special, exciting and lucky. I think there will definitely be times when I second guess this decision – or so I have heard from EVERY SINGLE married woman I know – but as long as I feel those other three things, it’s the right thing.


March 19, 2008

Three New Ideas Meme

Posted in Uncategorized at 4:49 pm by Jess

Can I tell you that this meme has kind of freaked me out? I’ve seen it going around other blogs for two weeks now, therefore I am certain it’s nearly impossible to complete this meme without repeating, or unknowingly copying someone, but I’ll try. Thanks to Southern Fancy for my first wedding blog meme. Check hers out too! I am not sure what constitutes a local attraction here, because just about EVERYTHING does to me. As long as there is water and mountains in the scene, it’s a local attraction. I am going to compile goodie bags of local treats in May and I cannot wait to show them to you, since they will be filled with European goodness. I am going to to a trial run, a.k.a. Birthday Splurge next week at the upscale grocery. I am more excited about this than a new purse.

That’s a lie.

Alright, The Rules:

  • List your top three new favorite wedding ideas
  • Link back to the post of the person who tagged you – this will create a continuous stream of posts that readers can follow
  • Tag a new person and share the rules.

Alors, on y va?

1: I already wrote about moving websites on this post and I think this is definitely a new idea. Websites and blogs are getting better and better and the newest, best websites integrate sound, sight and feeling to wow their audiences. Entering these websites is like going to a super short chick flick! HA!

2: Registering for tableware that has spunk. On the one hand I love having solid white dishes, the better to show up the food. However, today’s young-at-heart, creative couples also want to add a little more personality to the table, and to their registry, and funky plates are just the thing.

Porcelain and Paper at Etsy

ANYTHING that grabs your eye on Toast and Table, I particularly liked this set though.

Jessica Rust (who has a new wedding registry feature)

3: The last new idea is a design idea: Feathers!

How amazing! This feather cake is made by Cakes4Fun in the U.K. “The cake is then finished with a wonderful ‘feather effect’ that is created from rice paper. We then dust the cake with sparkling edible glitter to complete the stunning effect or can colour the tips of your cake to achieve a totally different finish!”

A Feather Fascinator by BD Designs

A feather lamp found at by Moss. I want one for my bedroom anyway. I doubt anyone can afford to buy this sucker, but a crafty DIY bride could pull it off with artificial feathers!

Eh Voila! Those are my three ideas. And now, I cordially tag…A Little of This, ALittle of That

February 12, 2008

Spot the Knot

Posted in Uncategorized at 10:00 pm by Jess

I have been thinking about hairstyles lately. I am all mixed up about what I want. So I was thrilled to see that theknot.com sent me an email, as if they have ESP yesterday, about the top 6 hair trends right now.

Here is my thing. Aren’t hairstyles like a Braid or a Knot generally taking place behind the head? And thus, better viewed, and photographed, from behind? I am interested in Braids. Very interested in Braids. Where are the braids here? I am no more clearer on braids after this exercise. Or knots really.

In fact, many of the photos were completely identical to my un-trained eye. I have below an assortment of photos from this set, all of which fall under one single category. Either: SLEEK, BRAID, or KNOT.

Can you tell which is which?

Photo A

Photo B

Photo C

Photo D

Photo E

February 11, 2008

Your dogs are cute, but…What about my cat?!

Posted in Uncategorized at 6:54 pm by Jess

On a fairly frequent basis I run across a wedding photo of someone’s dog. Sometimes the dog is walking down the aisle with the couple, on a leash. Often s/he is wearing an outfit – a top hat, a little doggie tux. It’s all really pretty cute, and a nice way to incorporate one of the most important family members – because that is what your pet is, right?  So here’s my thing. We have a cat. And I love him. I love him just as much as you love your dog. But I cannot walk my cat down the aisle on a leash. Well, I could put the leash on, but then I’d probably strain a neck muscle dragging him down the aisle behind me, and the music would be drowned out by his incessant howling (He has a very dramatic side…). Not to mention he’d try to eat the faux birds coming out of my DIY wreath. Oh wait, he already did that.

So here’s a question: How can someone incorporate cats into a wedding? Please feel free to leave comments if you have any ideas. Here are mine:

~Some people may not want to rely on word-of-mouth for getting the information out about their Registry. You could order postcards, custom designed from a chic and snazzy invitation company like Ink and Wit, then have the postcard text come from the cat – personifying the cat – with tactful but helpful information.This is my sad attempt to be humorous, bear with me…

“This is Teaspoon. You may know my pets, Jessica and Jonathan. They are really great pets, but they are getting a little too close for comfort.  Don’t worry. I’ve talked to them and let them know that it is time to upgrade: I need more space, and I’m thinking that my meals should come from a slowcooker from now on. So, here is the information for their registry and for the slow cooker. (I’d buy them everything, but they never play with what I bring them!) I invite you to have a look. I must go back to my beauty rest now.”

Imagine this but with a modern cat graphic.

~Everybody needs a notebook. Everybody. Some of us need four (the number I have sitting in front of me, piled in order of priority). Give these notebooks and/or these magnets as favors, and support etsy artists at the same time.

Etsy Listing HERE 

Etsy Listing HERE 

~If you can handle funky vibrant colors at your wedding, grab one of these prints. Rather, grab many. Frame them in cheap white IKEA frames and set them to rest behind the drinks at the bar, or sporadically placed behind the food.

Cat-tastic Etsy Prints here  

~Table Numbers: Buy your kitty something adorable to wear, like a little top hat and bow (in a color that matches your wedding). Take your cat’s photo in his outfit. Clean up the photo in Picase or Photoshop.  You could even add a word bubble, along with the Table Number, large enough to be visible and striking. Have that photo printed out into a 5X7 size, then frame it in a simple frame and put one on each table.

What I won’t suggest you do is to buy your kitty accessories and then choke him or her with it, which is exactly what looks to be going on in this photo.   I’m still undecided on the issue of dressing up animals period, but choking one with a giant red bow-tie while you snap the perfect shot, definitely a No. That poor cat, honestly.

~Finally, hire a custom cake-topper designer to design one that incorporates your cat. Like this, but with a cat!


Cake topper from Thumbprintkids.com 

 ~If you seriously doubt that your cat could be present at the wedding, or you just have no interest in a cat-related theme, but you still want to include your animal best friend, consider having a few of your engagement photos done with the cat(s) in them.

What are your ideas?